Two events are done and in the past but the memories are still in my heart. I got the honor of hanging out with two vast groups of friends from two very different – well, not so different – circles. But the inevitable rush of emotions that I got from it all was coming to the surface…I ended up crying my eyes out. Happy cries, of course, but still…
Let me start off by saying that this year has been one of the most emotional for me and it’s growing by the day. I got the exciting news/opportunity to travel to China, among other countries, to be a TEFL teacher and I was overjoyed. The ability to travel around the world while doing good for it. I can work on my stories while teaching future generations how to speak/read/write English for their future. But, then, reality set in and I was forced to acknowledge what was going to happen to me.
I’ve spent many nights contemplating what I was going to be leaving behind when I start this new chapter in my life. My family. My friends – both old and new. My professional network and colleagues. And all of that would be avoided if I stuck with my original plan of “total detachment”. But God wouldn’t let me turn myself into a sociopath because, according to my brother, I’m gifted with the ability of words making it impossible for me not to connect with people. Apparently, I’m just too kind for solitude which makes all the more harder.
So, when I was venturing to NYCC for the last time and word got out that this was going to be my final year. Everybody was happy, of course, but, again, reality set in when the con came to an end. I was leaving and wasn’t coming back for a good while. And everybody wasn’t too happy about that part. In fact, as you would expect, everybody reacted in the most common way possible: with cries and various attempts to soak up each and every possible moment. We ended our last convention with a lot of hugs and tears.
Coming back to Philly, I had to get ready for OutFest. OutFest is an annual event that’s linked to National Coming Out Day where we get to welcome and celebrate a new generation of LGBTQ+ members. Of course, I had to do security for the event at my bar but, my God, it was so exhilarating and warm. Crazy, definitely, but still so beautiful and amazing. Plus, as an added bonus, I got to listen to a few coming out stories and witness a few more. You have no idea how heartwarming it is to see a son take his mother to a gay bar as a way to introduce her to his community. I nearly choked up at the site of it.
So, two weeks of pure beauty…and I want to end this blog post with something very personal. In the spirit of National Coming Out Day and OutFest, I want to full disclosure my “coming out” story:
To be honest, my “coming out” wasn’t really that special or – you know – dramatic. In fact, it wasn’t really crazy, either. See, I already knew I was gay. I just didn’t know what to call it until I got to high school. And when I got to college, I figured it out and kept to myself.
Now, let me make something really clear. I wasn’t in the closet. I just didn’t feel the need to blab my mouth to everybody about my sexuality. Why? Because it wasn’t anybody’s business and I wasn’t going to tell anybody unless I was asked. And, if I didn’t like the person or felt that (s)he was hostile, I would lie and say that I’m bi. Plus, it wasn’t really a lie per se…I have had sex with women…just didn’t like it.
It was, finally, when I began hanging out my hag, Briana, that we began to have a serious conversation about it all. She reminded me that (A) I wasn’t bi and we both knew it and (B) I can still keep to myself without saying such a lie. Yes…she called it a lie and offensive since she is, in fact, bisexual. So, I decided to do something new; I decided to tell four family members: my brother, my mom, my closest cousin and my grandmother. They accepted what I told them and was happy that I told them, but each in their own way.
My mother told me that she’s bi and already had a hunch. “A mother always knows.”
My cousin vowed to never tell anybody unless I give the all-clear and treated our conversation with as much normality as he could. The bloke is the epitome of a simplistic man.
My grandma gave me a reminder about the bible before telling me something beautiful. She told me that the amount of good that I’ve done up until the point of me telling her and the amount of good that I’ve destined to do will still grant me entry to the Silver City. That’s my grandma. A realist but never one for judging. What’s also humorous about it all is that she’s still wondering when I’m going to get married.
My brother’s response to my news was my favorite of all times. The very moment I told him…he needed me to confirm it. And when I did, he joked and said, “That’s one less than to compete with you on.” Then, he went to Woody’s to celebrate my “coming out” and eventually, went to a bar because we both realized that I’m not too fond of clubs. Plus, he’s a fierce ally of the community and will clock a homophobe in a heartbeat. Trust me, I’ve seen it happened and I never laughed so hard in my life.
So, yeah, that’s my “coming out” story. Not as grand as the other ones you’ll hear and/or read about but it’s mine.
Now, please, don’t forget to follow me on my social media platforms (Twitter, Instagram, and Goodreads) which are on the right side of my web page. Also, I do love hearing suggestions of what books to read outside of my norm (Science fiction and fantasy) as I am a part of the Goodreads’ reading challenge for 2019.
Also, buy our newly released book, Not Afraid of Dick: A Sitdown with Dante Drackis, which is out now on Amazon and Kindle.
